the words "You are where you're supposed to be" rang into my ears.
I just returned from coffee with an old friend. We talked over a cup of macchiato shots and tomato cheese sandwiches at Bridgehead. It's a fairtrade coffeehouse, cozy, and romantic. Slightly pricey in comparison to Second Cup. Equal to Starbucks, but with more options when it comes to tea.
This was a long overdue 'catching up date'. And I anticipated a slight awkwardness considering the circumstances that has occured. But it wasn't awkwardness that I experienced. It was difference. Our conversations went in every spectrum and directions. Yet, there was a degree of obligation that came with the meet. Primarily, to prove my neutrality. And a form of reluctance that came on her part, to endure this. It all seemed a little diplomatic for me, than usual. Maybe the tinge of diplomacy in our conversation was something I overlooked before. Time and difference in environment could have possible influenced this shift in dynamics in our friendship.
Environment.
You are where you're supposed to be.
There was a slight negative connotation to that statement. It was said in the context of my excuse, for isolating our friendship.
To justify myself, my decision and reaffirm my ambition. That was the explanation I owed.
Maybe I am just overanalyzing and overthinking.
Well, like a junkie that I am, I hide in my room tonight. Perhaps, pondering my existence away, and deliberately refusing to start my essay. I am starving and thinking of soup for dinner.
I am where I'm supposed to be I suppose.
Snuggled up in bed, in my happy zone on a cold winter night in Ottawa.
(I sound like a hibernating bear).
I enjoy hibernating bears.
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