I love you in a-
You can have the first and last ring of calamari off the plate kinda way.

I thought & dreamed of calamari for four hours on the bus back.
=] You're special.

To the seven;

Whom I grew up with, the past four years of my life.

You who have taught me of my faith, of friendship and growth

Each with attributes of courage and determination that I admire.

I just feel the need to say that I am so grateful to have you met each you,

You have all influenced me in one way or another

And it is such a blessing to have you as elder siblings guiding me.

I hope summer doesn't come too soon...

Much love,

-the-corny-girl-who-did-not-have-the-guts-to-say-this-to-your-faces. =P
(p.s. three of you may be reading this..hehe)

Sense of two

If a little shoe tells me I couldn't have you,
Then the shoe would be lying because there's two
If a butterfly swoons, and tells me to be free,
With only one wing, what freedom would it be?

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bittersweetness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest in the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place." -Anonymous

Sallowed & Stained

What bitterness sown

In this muscle once colonized by man

Such hollowness remains,

& emptiness that stands

Once red with cherry passion,

Now blue, broken and ice cold

Once sweetened by youth

Now sallowed with stained truth.

What bitterness sown

In this muscle colonized by man,

Exploited by fate,

Uncertain of the end.

In Orwell Terms

All the world is a farm. And it's people are farmers and chickens.

Once upon a history, the chickens ran free in the fields. Today, they are confined within the parameters of artificial boundaries, of wooden barns. The farmers depend heavily on the chickens for eggs, profiting off such 'intensive' labor of production due to absolute demand. And so the chickens eventually exhaust themselves...and sought for freedom. Exchanging false promises with farmers, they were 'liberated', to a wide open space under the sun, but still entrapped within the parameters of wooden fences.

Think neocolonialism.

Are you the farmer or the chicken?

Cucumber

A cucumber,

Thinly, sliced of coolness
On a blanched ceramic plate.

What silly minty calmness,

From once solid green baton
Emasculated into,

Twenty-five pretty pieces

Nonchalantly chillin' without complain.

The Pedagogy, Marxism & I

In every course theme, criticisms of capitalism often emerge to emphasize the exploitation of the subordinate class. The call for social reform towards equality in distribution of wealth and rights is eminent.Yet within each source of texts, lies what I think is the fallacious notion of 'extremism' or 'threat of moral/individual annihilation'. The opposition towards communism is institutionalized, but the passivity in a capitalist society legitimizes its existence. I have no background in economics. I am not a Marxists. Neither do I condone the capitalist system in its entirety. I do not know where I stand in the spectrum of economic distribution. But I do find it fascinating that the university exposes the issues in capitalist societies, through analyzing Marxist's ideals then rejects it because of its 'communist' label.

For example, in my philosophy of feminism class, I recently submitted a review on Schulamith Firestone's 'The Dialectic of the Sex'. Firestone draws upon Marx and Engels' dialectic materialism to prove how capitalism in society contributes to exploitation. Exploitation for Marx occurs whenever there is a surplus, therefore any profit gained from abundance is an exploit. Dialectic is the method of looking at history as a progression like a movie, instead of snap-shots of photographs. Materialism is the material as the root for division of class. Firestone adopts this idea, claiming the sexual class (of men and women) is rooted by the biological 'dysfunction' women suffer from having a uterus (the material). Women have suffered emotionally, physically and economically as a result of childbearing and childrearing (the dialectic). Therefore, she calls upon the advancement of technology, and for women to unite and seize control of reproduction. This, along with the institutionalizing of 'day-care' as a 24/7 system that engages in childrearing so women can enjoy freedom to pursue economic independence. Coming from a woman who compares pregnancy and labour to "shitting a pumpkin", she is quite radical.

Regardless, 'double-day' labour is a term Marxist feminists coined, defined as when women have paid-employment in the day time and unpaid labour at home with their family. Like Firestone, I do believe women are underpaid, overrepresented in a number of social issues and in some cases deprived of certain opportunities. But I am also torn to believe the concept of 'labour' at home as a form of exploitation is a Eurocentric and outdated notion. Various cultures acknowledge the value of chores done by women at home to be beyond monetary. For instance, matriarchy exists in aboriginal tribes. What more, Canada grants paternal leave from employment and it has become more acceptable after women give birth to a child, so as to allow women to continue working.

I do not wish to sound like a post-feminist or pro-Marxist, nor do I wish to promote the capitalist system. My intention was to point out how Firestone criticizes the capitalist system, and how students like myself interpret it in its extremity, but passively submit to the current system.

In law, the dissent has often been the cause of social progression. The power of the dissent has the capacity to set legal precedent. I suppose in the pedagogical realm, it makes sense to expose students to anti-capitalist texts. The optimistic alter-ego in me believes in social change through mental consumption of these 'dissenting-documents'. But the cynical alter-ego thinks that I am being fed various ideologies and systematic issues of society purposefully (and 'subconsciously'-one-sidedly), to overwhelm my mental retention. In other words, the institution wants me to be passive and accept society as it is...because 'nothing in the past (and present) seems to have worked'.

sometimes perfection can be,
it can be perfect hell.
Perfect.

-Jack's Mannequin

Social Contract

It was Thomas Hobbes who declared that men are incapable of controlling their brutish ways. They enter the social contract with the sovereign, subserviently for protection in exchange for freedom and rights. Each individual enters this covenant at his own will. For Hobbes, men are incapable of breaching this contract, because doing so would be contradictory to its original intention. It would be an act of returning to the state of nature, resorting to the interests of the 'selfish self', that which the individual once was prior to engaging into the social contract.

For John Locke, the purpose of the social contract was for men to maintain protection of their property and estates. In the state of nature, every man was his own king. The insecurity that existed called for a community of men to unite, and give consent to the government. The contract between the people and the state makes each dependent on the other. The existence of check and balances limits arbitrariness and factions. Unlike Hobbes model, the people have the capability to dissolve the government.

Rousseau warns that "Man is born free but is everywhere in chains". Today, I witnessed the people of Egypt untangle a part of the chains. The will of the people was heard, a revolution of non-violence and persistence to oust their own leader. I do not know what will happen next, nor am I sure where Egypt is in the model of the social contract. Especially at this transitional point in time. But I do believe that citizens share a certain power over the state. And that the general will of the people determines the legitimacy of a state's action. And that the the people when united, becomes indivisible.

I think I just witnessed a defining moment in history.
So long, Mubarak. I pray for a smooth transition in Egypt.

In solidarity,

Worm

I am just so happy.  =]
Good  GREAT things do happen to those who wait.
The patient bird is catching the most juiciest worm after all.
Alhamdulillah.

Reign

Look at the wooden wheels spinning
It's a tragic comedy of broken dialogue
I sat on the cart of bandaged chivalry
Hands tied to my back, dripping dignity
Soaked red in royalty of a monarch,
In my own castle of liberty.

Gutenberg

My printer ate my Philosophy of Feminism paper. And instead of playing doctor and operating on my junk piece of machine, I decided to blog my frustration. I honestly blame Johannes Gutenberg for his printing press invention. What a world we could have lived in, if trees hadn't been chopped off and pulped into gazillions of wasted papers. Papers I'd spend hours on, printed, submitted, marked...only to be chucked into the garbage bin after. I'm not narcissistic enough to frame each one of my essays, thank you very much.

And don't get me started on the textbooks...

Silly things

I miss you.

& the silly missions we'd run,

going for cheesecake at 8pm to help brainstorm logo plans for CSAS

sitting on the porch eating ice-cream summer evenings
driving around highways just to watch airplanes land

singing stupid songs in the car out of tune

sharing random stories all night.

I miss simple things.

Noun

Simone de Beauvoir insists that, "One is not born a woman, one becomes one". I am in the awkward phase in life, where my mental existence and intellect are rallying for recognition of maturity. However my emotional tendencies are incapable of conforming or catching up. Nineteen is an awkward age.

I'll get upset if you call me a lady.

But I may also cringe if you call me a girl.

So choose your noun wisely.