Calming Calamity

From where I'm standing, I find peace.
There's the city light. The canal is calm.
Moonlit night. A reminder of summer.
& I'm thinking of him.
To my left is the parliament.

My friends to my side. We watch in silence.
Tranquil.
Every inch of me embracing serenity.
I look to my friends.......

they are all staring at peace.

This morning I felt alone.
I stayed in bed. My head was heavy.

& underneath my covers, I tried to read.
But my thoughts drifted
To memories....and 'what ifs'
And wishing to be at home

Last night, I felt the walls caving in,
My thoughts were scattered.
And filled

I thought it might explode.

Right now, I miss everyone.

It's been two months and I go home every two weeks
I find it ridiculous that I am homesick....

My Human Rights Crew.

These are people who will support me.
& I truly hope they find secure and comfort from me...like I do with them

Overloaded & Piled

I honestly vow that I will defy the myth that states first years drop 15% in marks.
So I just finished my law case commentary.
It's due tomorrow. Last minute, I know.
My excuse: it has been a busy weekend. I was afterall Valedictorian, and that took much of my time.
I'm mentally drained.
My laundry pile is getting higher.
I have class until 5pm tomorrow.
& have to figure out what's for dinner.

So much responsibilities.
So little time.
It is honestly exhausting me.

I'll start thinking of Human Rights thesis tomorrow and will finish it weeks in advance.

I can do this...

This was my night

I woke up this morning, with the familiar feeling of new beginning...a detached and near distant sense of high school life, slowly drifting away.

Last night, as I walked in the living arts centre, familiar faces surrounded me.
There was this feeling of warmth, and familiarity that I was very much comforted by.
In between hugging teachers and engaging in conversations with them, I had a brief vision of my high school memories with each of them, that made me realize how fast time really flew by.

I was in a robe. With a hat that pronounced a rite of passage of entering a new phase in life. And a sash, signifying a childhood dream come true...I was valedictorian.

As I walked into the theatre, with Mr. Kontos in front of me while principal Mr. Cianfrini behind, and headed towards the platform, I was overwhelmed with a feeling I can't explain. I think it was pride, happiness and nervousness. And when I looked at my mom, giving me a thumbs up and smiling at me, I felt that I owe all of this to her...

So came the time i crossed the stage to pick up my diploma and awards.
Each step I took, it felt like I was so much closer to the oblivion that lies ahead.

Throughout the ceremony, Mr. Kontos joked frequently to calm my nervousness. And when he stood up to introduce me before my speech, I realized how much this man has truly influenced myself. His speech touched me greatly and I saw how it brought my mom to tears...Seeing that, made me feel weak, and the teachers that surrounded behind me wished me luck just before I head off to deliver the valedictory address I have long awaited for.

I was nervous, but I tried hard to hide it. I had a strength when I looked at my mom and with that I started my speech.

I spoke words I felt from within, my heart soared at the end of my speech. A sense of victory. And accomplished moment. A reality felt like a dream.
As I looked in front of me, I was overwhelmed to see everyone standing and applauding.
My first ever standing ovation.
And I owe it all to my mom, the woman who continues to inspire me

Truly a night to remember...

Bits of my day.

Philosophy.
Philosophize.
First ever Uni Exam today.
=) Think I did well.

Finished my Latin America Essay.
Practiced speech for commencement....

Omigawd I am so nervous.

Back home to Saugy Sauga tomorrow!
:)

C'est la vie

Im sitting facing the beautiful orange trees at the library.
My books are opened beside me,
I have a cup of French Vanilla to my right.

You know you're a uni student when everywhere you go,

You carry a paper cup or a coffee mug.

It has become some sort of a trend or fashion statement.

And I've sadly conformed.

I need caffeine or sugar to focus.

But it hasn't kicked in yet

With 2 essays to write, and a philo midterm on Tuesday

Plus my valedictorian speech.

I'm procrastinating, and blogging.

This is life.

Home sweet home;

My bus ride home was memorable.
5 Hours of Catching Up Time with my dear awesome-awkward-half, Reema.

There is this overwhelming sweet feeling of comfort once we arrived in Toronto.
The moment I saw the CN Tower, I had a sudden feel of security. Weird, I know.

Mom and dad picked me up from the bus terminal. I arrived five minutes past midnight and realized how much I'd missed them. It feels wonderful to be home, but my sisters were asleep. I was half awake when they woke up at 7 and jumped on my bed. Usually, I would've been annoyed but not this time, because I missed their craziness.

Met up with Mr. Kontos too and had a forty-five minute conversation with him regarding uni life and my valedictorian speech. It was definitely a different feel walking into the high school again. Even more was the way Kontos looked at me as an adult, not just a student...

In the rain, Adrita and I ran to Second Cup at night. I missed her presence and singing in the rain on the streets with her...that was what we did, while catching up with the old times.

=) Sweetest of all, I spent the whole day with llama together with my family. I've combined two aspects of my life I find easy to be myself around.

Life is wonderful;

Shaf leaves her O-Town room, encore =]

There's a pile of unfold clothes in an Ikea bag at the corner of my room.
I have random coins, waterbottles and empty containers on my desks...
My bed is unmade.

I'm so unmotivated to clean this room.

Welcome to Independence + Uni World.

Truth is, I kinda miss having mom yell at me to keep my room clean.
But it's alright, I'm coming home tonight!

=) So I guess I should leave for campus now and head to my morning routine.
My bags are packed, all that's left is coffee.

Mmmmm COFFEE.

I am so mellow without you.

Maybe I'll blog again on the bus home tonight?
Meanwhile, I'm gonna go head to my first class, PHILOSOPHY.

We're on to Machiavelli's Political Philosophy.
I hated him 3 months ago.
I thought he's a sadist, power-loving, FREAK

But recently, I find myself understanding him.
He just had it hard in his time, that's all.

I'm gonna say adieu to my messy Ottawa room now...

Later beans <3

This is my morning routine...

A coffee mug in my hand, and a bag stuffed with my whole life;
Well, not literally my life. Just textbooks which costs half my life, really.
How can I forget my precious new Tomato? He's a mini laptop, I've gotten acquainted to. Ours is a platonic relationship because my heart belongs two 2 others...

1. Cherry (my mini laptop that got refunded because of a dysfunctional screen)
2. My boyfriend (who may not be tiny red and filled with infinite knowledge, but he's adorable and sweet!)

So anyhow, this is the life of uni. I walk out of my house each day, lugging my stuff.
Sipping my cup of coffee. Walking across the busy Bronson Ave, passing by the beautiful canal.
Simply savoring the fall season and remnants of warm fresh air while I still can...

My beginning

I haven't written here in a while.
Much has happened.
Once, I was afraid.
A month ago, I feared the oblivion.
I anticipated loneliness
I acknowledged my fears.

Then I overcame it.

I lead two lives.
Two different ones.
But I am still the same me.

I am alone here, but have surrounded myself with some of the most amazing and sweetest human beings.

I have everyone I love within distance.
I find security with them.
Home is there.

But home can be here too, right?

But sweetest of all, someone out there; he might be reading this.
He's part of the two lives. =)
He's helped me through my fears, made me laugh when I cried...

I am so very much in love with him.