If you love you don't "put up" with them. You'd do things whole-heartedly. If you love, you don't do things that make them sick. But if you do things that make them uneasy, you should fix it whole-heartedly. Out of love. Despite flaws and mistakes. For the betterment. It's not called putting up. It comes with patience. It shouldn't make you uncomfortable. Because it's love.

Hot and Cold

A table spoon of hot chocolate and half a cup of hot water

Two scoops of ice-cream

You get a cup of heaven. =)
Hot and cold confuse my senses.
Double the chocolate makes me feel happy.

...I was just bored, and felt like experimenting, really

Starry starry night

Have you ever walked in the darkness surrounded by nothing but trees? Passing by sleeping campers, and silence so still...you could probably taste the stillness in between your teeth. You're walking, on the path of soil past midnight in summer, but the chill that ran through your spine fooled you to believe it's already fall. You're not alone, linking arms with three to four other people. Yet the slightest motion captured by the penumbra of your torch makes you flinch.

Then your shoes hit the soft sands, and the trees disappear. You find yourself standing in front of a vast lake, of total stillness. Not a sight nor a sound of a wave hitting the shore. To the left, the back light of a car illuminated briefly, passing within seconds. Still linking arms, underneath the night sky, you lay on your back. And what revealed before you made you sigh with wonder.

A million stars scattering the infinite sky. Silver and gold, some outshining others. You desperately try to find your favorite constellation, Ursa Major also known as the Big Dipper, which is the pattern of seven stars aligned to form a Bear. But among the million, this constellation was nowhere to be found. You are disappointed, for every summer camping trip you've spotted the Big Dipper in the sky. But a sudden shooting star made you forget your disappointment.

You saw three shooting stars that night. It's different making wishes upon a star and when the clock hits 11:11. And whether or not, all 9 wishes you made came true, you know for sure, that this night was probably the best night of your summer.

All the way back to your tent, you hummed Starry, Starry Night by Don McLean in your head. Your heart filled with content and marvel. Like you were being presented another beautiful gift.

It is a summer of starlit sky this year.

Dancing lights & sleepless night

It is terribly stuffy and warm in my room despite the electric fan plugged in two feet away from my face. I'm yawning, even though I woke up about forty five minutes ago. I woke up feeling like a murderer from a terrifying dream... I don't recall what time I fell asleep last night. I was hopelessly wandering around the windows of my house, wishing to catch sight of the northern lights. Knowing, of course, that my suburban street is polluted with lights that diminish my chances of sighting anything. Nevertheless, as I tuck myself back in bed, I caught myself staring at the ceiling and over thinking things. I probably slept a bit after sunrise. At 5:30 am I guess.

It'll be fun being up all night at Algonquin the next three days. I'll be out and far from city lights too, and into the wilderness. I doubt any aurora borealis will appear.

But I can always be hopeful.

Two Worlds

I know I've said good night to the world.

But the earth seems bigger than it was a few hours ago. I wish for simple days. Perhaps I could use a time machine, to some place in memory lane. Or a teleport for everyone to meet again. To be reunited. Not just to hear another voice at the end of the telephone line reassuring me, that my thoughts are with them. Only to realize, the voice is a million miles away. Not just another photo to look at, but to physically witness memories and experience sweet laughter again.

To feel loved again.
I am homesick. I miss my grandparents, my aunts, uncles and cousins. A phone call does little to ease what I feel.

I pray for your full recovery and health Atok Ramli, InsyaAllah. I miss you terribly. I keep thinking about my childhood with you as the best grandfather ever...I think about you more than ever tonight. I remember you taking me to playgrounds, bribing me with treats and driving me in your dark blue van.

I know mama misses you so much more.

Madly, madly, madly

I broke my sunglasses again.
I guess it's a sign of a summer ending soon. I can't believe it's already August. I'm squeezing every bit of sunshine and sweetness left, like a bottle of sunscreen. My feet are tanned, that my toes seem lighter than the rest of me.

I have a little quirk. I mark every summer's memory with a particular song. Last year's summer music was Jason Mraz's I'm Yours. And the previous year was NKOTB's Summertime. I refuse to admit that I'm lame. I think I'll remember this summer with Tristan Prettyman's Madly. Listen to it. She sounds like Amanda Marshall. It's the only song they play at work that makes me happy too. Aside from Lily Allen and Feist, that is.

Regardless. Four days until camping at Algonquin. :)

Khaki dress and silver flats

City lights, on a Friday night.
I love the dark summer breeze blowing away,
Ambling the downtown streets in my straight-cut khaki dress.
And my only pair of silver flats.
I felt youthful yet sophisticated while linking arms with and strolling away among my girlfriends.

Sometimes it amazes me how places landmark feelings.
Passing by Gardiner Expressway, on the way to Harbourfront and I couldn't help remembering two summers ago visiting Toronto Island with a family friend. I felt seventeen again for two minutes. Crossing over Yonge St. to Union Station, only to remember last summer's downtown trip with Kelly and Connie to Queen's Park with Mr. Kontos. I thought I felt my heart skipped a beat from the excitement of high school graduation, last year. Greyhound busses that passed me by, sadly reminded me the end of summer.

& I wonder what I'll think about walking downtown next summer.