unaligned

Sober thoughts, drunken heart. The mind is a minefield when everything feels like it is drowning. Then all at once, I felt bravery and loss -
At the same time.

How is it possible to feel in extremes?

Here is a glass. This is half of me.  Down in a glass half empty - or is it half full? I can't tell. Does it even matter, anyway? We like to draw lines to let boundaries dictate lives. But even lines become uneven. And even lines need spaces...

feet

if you try to make things stay, it will grow a pair of feet and walk away.
& then you will tell yourself profusely
that what you thought was forever
did not last so long, afterall

halfhearted

i fluff my pillows 

thinking it will gather me dreams

or maybe soothe

my night wounds
but they flutter away-
anyway.

Remember how rocks fall into the rivers? How ripples of aftershocks make little waves. Of puddles and reflections. Of waves that refract images. Much the same, my reflection is refracted and lacks clarity.

Everything comes in waves. 

I am still finding myself. As we all are. As we will all be.

May what is within, like the river that settles in tranquil, be in peace.

Nineteenth

How wonderful it is,

to feel tiny
& shaken a little

when you learn

that you are loved
in return.

Gentleness

as soft glowing, snowflakes
& here I fall again.

Litany

Hi, you. How are you? A litany of rhythm rings through my mind. In repetition. Like a catalogue of time. Of winds, and unwind. There is no meaning in mere recitation. 

There are many unspoken edges. Many words to say, but little meanings can be left unconveyed. Maybe they were conveyed. Or my mannerisms were off.

But we are often misunderstood. We like to misunderstand each other. Or not. Maybe misunderstanding is something we both are great at. Unintentionally, like the many things we have done in the past. In our lives. Accidentally. Life is a bucketlist of mistakes afterall, with bullet-points that leave holes marking moments we once thought were bullet-proof.

So here is a little post-it note, if you will. I have many words, maybe little meanings. Or does it matter, for it will all be misunderstood anyway.

For it all,

I only wish

that your mended heart

be safe to embrace again