Yearnings

She is eighty.
Perhaps it was the way she looked me in the eye.

And the eloquence in her voice, despite the evident contour of fragililty.

Nevertheless, I was moved.
While she shared me stories of her youth.
Of breathtaking Nova Scotia, the place she calls home,
Of 2 dogs and 2 cats, and her late husband.
Reminiscence of her neighborhood.
I sat listening to her every word...enchanted by her wonderful memory.

All the way on my bus from Toronto to Ottawa, these words kept playing in my head...

"Young only once. Do what you want, don't let anyone stop you. Or you'll regret."

Maybe this is my 'exam-stress-emotional-unbalance-ness' speaking. In every phone call, he has always reminded me to study hard & at this moment all I can think about is him.

I miss my grandfather so much.

Buttercups & Sunshine

My honey nut cheerio,
I drown in warm milk.
My favorite orange striped socks I wear
Only when nobody sees me.

The song I sing myself to sleep.

So nobody else hears it.
Oh, but I think you're living in my head.
You might be laughing away at me.

My white flowery skirt

I wear only in summer.
A line from a poem,
I try to forget, keeps coming back to me.

I love purple because you love it too.
:) Purple does look great on you.

My favorite season,
It could be spring.
A candy apple, a chocolate cake, a maple taffy.
I crave away, to sink my teeth in sweet.

Butterflies are all I have in my tummy.

Twenty five could be my new favorite number.

Now will you smile for me?

My favorite nerding buddy

This is me studying for Human Rights @ Mississauga Public Library

Meet my new nerding buddy, Mr. Omar.

And this is his geeky face.

He's so focused. More nerdier than I am, it seems....

Or is he, really?

Uh-oh....

Way to give geeks like me false hope.

Thanks for nurturing the nerdy side of me, Mr. Omar.
& making sure I studied for 5 hours in the library.
You're the dorkiest boyfriend ever.

<3

Darkness around the clouds

It's like the calm before the storm, outside.
Mama's maple and cherry trees shield the dark clouds away from sight. There are signs of budding leaves. Underneath, stems the emerging vain leaves of tulips.
The grass is green, fulfilling the promise of spring.

I am sitting here with my books, staring out anxiously anticipating the spring showers.
I love the smell of rain. I love the sound it makes. I enjoy the sight of droplets dangling from the tip of the branches.

Oh, Mr. Rocky.
I am sure you're just like me, impatiently waiting for pretty flowers to blossom.

Pragmatism

William James,

You say that innate within us, we are extreme conservatives of our beliefs. That truth is subjective. That we live in a world, desperate to preserve our notion of truth, and extinguish anything contradictory to that....

I believe you.
Just that much.

Wonderment

Loneliness follows, sometimes.

Until a grain of sand makes you feel enormous....

Then, you might ponder the infinity of it.

Look up to the vast body of water and the grey clouds before you...

& the horizon might make you feel tiny.

And you can pretend nothing else matters.
Because it really doesn't.

Then the loneliness may disappear because you're surrounded.
By love, beauty and truth.
You don't have to see it. But you might feel it.

I promise, I did.

My bestest buddy. =)

At the bus terminal, a pleasant couple from Europe spoke in an accent and dialect I couldn't decipher. They stood right behind me in line. They seemed very excited about their trip to Toronto and kept asking me around for places to go. I arrived an hour early, as always, because in every bus ride, it is mandatory for me to sit by the window, not too close too the driver, nor too far behind or in the middle. Yes, it is one of my quirks.

Sometime after, a random man appeared and started a line of his own. Eventually three other people stood behind him. The couple and I looked at each other with an awkward smile because none of us had the nerve to tell the people off. Thank goodness for the security guard who roamed around and told the four people where the line started. Good thing for them too, that the line wasn't too long....yet.

I left Ottawa at midnight, hoping to possibly get two seats to myself on the bus. Unfortunately, I got stuck in a full bus. Beside me was a guy, who kept biting his finger nails. He had his laptop turned on the whole bus ride. Behind me was an annoying old man who kept kicking my seat, jolting me awake from my sleep throughout the 5 hour ride.

Weird thoughts conjure when you're half awake and half asleep. For instance, I remember glancing out the window seeing a building with all of its lights off, and thinking "It's Earth Hour, again?" And sometime, on highway 401, subconsciously awaiting for Don Valley Parkway to emerge so I can call my dad to pick me up, it hit me...there were two valleys, and the highway crossed in between....

By the time I arrived Mississauga, it was 6am and I was ready to pass out in my jacket, socks, sweater. Mama and my sisters were still asleep.

But I had the sweetest welcome home surprise:

Mr. Rocky was already in my bed, waiting for me!

So we got caught up on the things we missed both out for a bit. I missed him so much!

And kissed me goodnight!

:) I love Mr. Rocky.
And tonight, I leave Mississauga for Port Stanley. Another 2 hour ride.
It'll be fun.
Now back to philosophy!